roguelike
hades and hyperfixation
If there’s a genre of video game I’ve always hated in theory, it’s rogue-style.
The basic principle of this style of game is to win the entire thing in one straight run. As in, there aren’t really save points you can return to so then you also cannot ever “die,” not even once, between start to finish. This is an awful experience for someone that is 1) motivated by perfectionism 2) motivated by spite 3) has ADHD. Or if you’re like me, you’re a combination of all three of those things.
Here is an article that quickly explains the origin of the genre and breaks down some of the key distinctions between roguelites and roguelikes (aside from a single letter). Here is another similar article. The funny thing is that the cover photo for both articles is the same example: Hades, a game I have not stopped playing since Cz gifted it to me for Christmas.
Pictured: Official Concept Art
To be clear, Hades is a roguelite. So it isn’t the most extreme example because there actually are progressions that occur as you die. That’s right - while it is awesome if you can get through a run with no errors, sometimes the only way for the story to proceed is if you FAIL.
This is a wild concept because I typically do not do well with failure. It feels often like the more I mess up, the more I can only focus on the mistakes.
So that being said, if we are Discord friends or you’re following my neverending Twitter thread, you have probably already heard everything I’ve ever had to say about this game changing my life. At the time of writing this, I’m at 75 80.2 hours of gameplay with the first ending already completed and many more endings/surprises to unlock. The art is incredible. The soundtrack is like a freaking rock opera. The gods, goddesses, and all characters in between are so well-done and pretty true to their Greek myth origins (I was a huge mythology nerd growing up so my inner child feels understood).
You play as Hades’ son, Zagreus, who is trying to escape from Hell - layer by layer. And what is life, but just another version of that (lmao)? During an era where natural disasters are occurring more frequently from climate change, people are afraid to drink water because of improper chemical handling, hate and violence is rampant in even the most diverse metropolitan cities, and EGGS COST MORE THAN $3 PER CARTON, what is life other than just trying to do your f-cking best to make it out on top?
Oop, lemme reel it back in. I’m really not trying to be a downer here either. I mean it sincerely: that if there are no other choices but to keep getting up over and over, to crush or be crushed, then I hope you get up, reader. Figure out what makes you want to get up. Find ways to laugh. It sounds unhinged but maybe it’s necessary to remind ourselves to value our autonomy a bit more. Because the collapse of society will continue to rob us of our joy unless we actively work against it.
“beh made this analogy a while back on how emotions are like stocks, and how even if you dip a lot, its more important that your average is increasing. this is my mood log since august - the lows are pretty severe but i was surprised that my average is not as low as i thought, and it made me feel better to see it in a more tangible way. i have been questioning myself a lot lately, because it feels like a year of progress just to be in the same situations i was in last year. i think we are trained to do the most to reach new highs on a daily basis, but maybe the focus should be to increase your average first.”
-Roxanne’s journal, October 2019
It’s easy to feel discouraged when an unideal environment or circumstance seems to drag on, unchanging. Meanwhile, you feel like you’ve done everything in your power to effect change. But perhaps the work is already done, and we’re simply fighting because not being in survival mode feels weird. To move forward, we must embrace the unideal with as much eagerness as we would embrace the ideal.
I don’t want to spoil too much about the Hades story because I hope everyone has the chance to play this game and learn from it themselves. Maybe I’ll write a more in-depth analysis once I fully complete the game. Take today’s letter as a fair warning!
Instead, I’ll share a bit about how playing this game has directly helped me conquer seasonal depression:
I love how interactive each NPC is. They get wind of your actions pretty fast and recap them to you through dialogue, reminding you to appreciate your accomplishments.
The more Zagreus dies (aka fails), the more he’s able to distance himself from feelings of anger and shame. He becomes unafraid of failure because he knows he will come out on the other side. As a result of this reckoning, he becomes more determined and inspired to just do a good job - especially toward the second ending if you know what I mean!
The extra time I usually spend doomscrolling on social media has shifted to hours devoted to improving my experience. Not that I’m completely off socials now, but they just don’t have the same zest in the serotonin department.
To be clear, depression never fully goes away. But it can be more easily managed with practice and patience. This game is not a permanent solution to any mental illness, and I have boundaries in place to ensure that I am able to maintain positive responses and suspension of disbelief. Because I know myself and that I can get addicted to familiar, repetitive movements rather quickly (aka hyperfixating), playing Hades has also taught me to accept my limitations and honor them. If I find myself having a bad run and losing enjoyment, I simply quit and let it go.
This is so integral to my character development because I am the type to constantly push myself beyond limits just to achieve something. I hate quitting and being perceived as a quitter. But I’m learning! I give myself breaks on purpose - I stop after a certain number of chambers to stand up, stretch, and drink water. And because I tend to play an average of 3 hours in one session, I make it a point not to play two days in a row so that my brain isn’t firing on all cylinders and gets to spend some time enjoying reality too.
I’m really looking forward to finishing Hades and having a small break before Hades 2 comes out.
Is there a game franchise that really impacted your life in some way, shape, or form? Tell me about it and why I should try it next!